Have you ever found yourself saying, “Life was not supposed to be like this”? Or you may have asked, “Why does life have to be this way? What went wrong?” I have been asking these questions for a long time and I’m sure there will always be questions and wondering why at times. I am also certain that life can be better. Self-evaluation and seeking answers when life is adrift is a good thing. Life’s situations should cause us to question, seek the truth and ponder all that is before us. Life is a curious thing.
In my former two articles, I have mentioned that life has been extremely difficult for me recently. Life had seemingly been going along at a more comfortable pace and then it was flipped upside down completely. Let me explain. I am the mother of an adult child who is a drug addict.This in of itself isn’t new. We (my whole family, but esp. my husband and I more lately) have been on an emotional rollercoaster for 9 years now. I say a rollercoaster because there have been times of less stress when my child was away in rehab or living far away and we didn’t know the daily happenings of his life. There were even long stretching times of sobriety and remission. Clean times that I am extremely grateful to God helped my life roll along more smoothly. Things were going well (so we thought) that he was allowed to move back home. Life began to slowly unravel and then there was a huge crash on December 26, 2016. This relapse was different. I won’t go into all the awful, horrifying details so I can protect anonymity but my life and how I view life has been dramatically altered. Life is different. I am different.
It’s trying to learn how to grow from this experience in a healthy manner and learn how to allow it to be used positively to benefit others (including my addict child) that has me so twisted up at times. I started to realize that these types of trials are having an impact on the whole family and are bringing out the “character flaws” in each of us. These types of life situations have a way of dredging up past issues that may have never been dealt with fully during previous times. In many ways there is more than just one hardship taking place. There are several scenarios happening at once and at times I can feel quite overwhelmed. My emotions have reached extremes I didn’t know they were capable of experiencing. The scary, but also comforting part, is recognizing that even while I am at my worst, in my own darkest hour, my God is still with me. He still loves me, and He is holding me in the palm of His hand while putting all those puzzle pieces of my life together into that beautiful masterpiece He is creating.
The Bible says it better by calling God the master potter and we are the clay that is being molded and shaped into vessels. The shaping process can be tough on us but He is creating beautiful vessels that can bring peace and goodness into our world, vessels that bring joy and laughter, vessels that speak words of truth, of encouragement, and of hope and love.
There is still much I don’t have the answers to right now and that’s ok. It’s also ok if you don’t have all the answers either. This is why I write and hope that you will also write back. I’d love for you to share what is going on in your life and how you are working through your situations. I need you. We all need each other. I am praying that our readers find peace during their own personal trials and times of stretching and discomfort. Transitions can be difficult but if we look hard enough we could find some blessings as well because not all change is bad. Many blessings to you all.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.